At a [Standstill]

Because I struggle in the department of Asking For Help, I write an explosion of feelings and post them where the whole world can see them.

Emotionally.

It's kinda like 

A slow sting 

located at the core of my spine

gradually crippling 

all the feeling in

my hands and feet 

delaying me to move forward.

I'm at a standstill

swaying back and forth 

instead of actually 

going anywhere

Where even am I going?

Why do I have this desire to 

claw through my flesh.

I just want to be free

Emancipated from the growing

pressure

Is it well with my soul

if I do exactly that?

My body and soul 

Constantly 

In a battle 

slashing and ripping 

through any chance of re-coop.

Almost a fight to the death.

Constantly disagreeing with 

each other.

I think it's safe to say now, 

I am lonely

I am tired

I want to feel self worth

I need to feel enough. 

My mind tells me I am enough.

And so does God, 

But isn't there supposed to be 

comfort in the knowledge?

"I'm working on it."

Yeah, 

And i'm just patiently 

waiting.

in a 

Standstill.